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So your child needs support...

So your child needs support. They have a great attitude, seem to want to learn but are struggling with some of the basics.

There is a solution, Impact Tutoring provides some great courses and have some super tutors, and you may already be using these.

But it is not always that simple though is it?

You may feel the low of loss, the flood of fear or a pang of panic.

The grief cycle is real and can hit for so many reasons.

Knowing that you are going to suffer from grief, each time your child fails to meet a milestone, or doesn’t mange to meet an educational expectation can help you to pick yourself up a little bit faster.

You should be invested in your child’s achievements, they reflect on you to some degree, but you don’t have to be perfect, and neither do your children. Every time you invest yourself into something your child shows interest in, you start to build a picture of what they may achieve, and if the picture ends up being a mismatch with reality, then you will feel wrong, how wrong, and for how long, will differ for us all.

When someone shares their opinion on your child, or tells you that they need support, has got themselves into some form of trouble, or are injured, you may think that you are fine. But this can lead you into the trap of making statements and decisions in the moment, which do not serve you long term. If you value your word you may feel you need to stick to them. Realising that loss and grief are a mix of emotions, including denial, anger and sadness, allows you to make changes, without losing face or going against your values.

One of my favourite grief models is from Baier (see picture). This is a little more fluid than the more commonly knowing Kubler-Ross model.

Next time you receive some unexpected or unwanted news, remember that the ball is in play, and you cannot always predict where it will go. 



 

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